Can't believe it.

My daughter is going to be 3 in three months. I can't believe how big she has gotten! She is potty trained almost completely now! I mean she goes into the bathroom by herself and goes potty! She is still working on the toilet paper part, but hey! I'll take it!

We are also starting to work with her on letters, numbers and shapes.  I got her some workbooks so learning can be super fun for her! :D


My life is pretty grand right now.  Work is going great, at least at one job, and I am so freakin happy!!!

:D

new year, new goal!

my new goal: to weigh 125 pounds. i can do it. i know i can. or at least maintain a size four. that is my goal. i can do it. i can do it. yes i can!

things seem to be going my way, this week at least. i need to restart my membership at the cc and start working out more, to get rid of all this fat. i can do it.

Totally Dig It

My grandfather passed away on friday of last week.  His funeral was tuesday. It still really hasn't hit me that he's gone.  

I was never super super close to gra.  He really only came around while my grandma was alive, and that's because she made him do it.  Even though I wasn't close to  him, it's still freakin hard to lose a grandparent.  I no longer have any grandparents living.  Which means I will have no grandparents at my wedding.  There are some people who haven't even felt the loss of a grandparent.  I will tell you, though, that it is something I don't wish on my worst enemy.  It feels like there are holes in my heart where they once were, and now that they're no longer on this earth, that hole will never be filled.  

I will miss you Gra, and I will try to find laughter in every conversation, just like you had done.  Say hi to Grandma for me. <3

New year new name

New year, New name, New self

I am trying to forgive and forget, but as I may forgive, it is nearly impossible to forget.  The way my heart broke, and the tears fell when I saw what was written, can never be erased.  It wasn't just pain from the way someone was talking about the way I PARENT my child, but the fact that the words came from someone who, until that point, I had trusted with my life, I could not forgive right away. There was such a feeling of anger and grief that took a very long time to over come. And still, that feeling of betrayal and anguish, cannot be forgotten.  Now, it has been almost two years, and I have moved on. And with having moved on, I need to get these words out. 

We may have had some good times, don't get me wrong. You were so much fun, and you and I had some wonderful times.  But in between those times, were the times where it was not so perfect.  Times where I was chastised for doing things that made me happy. ( teasing, and being made to feel guilty)

I am not here to defend myself, and I am not here to rail on the bad things. Rather, to clear the air. So with these last words, I hope the air is clear.

I hope that you are happy with your life, and your marriage and your children.  I hope that your children grow healthy, strong, smart, and fun and that you savor each moment with them.  I pray that your life with your family is long and fulfilling, and that you find peace like I have.  Maybe someday, if we see each other, it would not be an awkward passing glance, but a nice hello. 

Stay happy, Stay healthy, stay faithful,

fran