Last night, I found an old video tape. It had me as a newborn on it, me as a toddler in the tub, and my grandparent's (on my dad's side) 50th wedding anniversary party. It made me realize how much I miss my grandparents. All four of them. It made me wish they were still here, and that they would be able to see my daughter grow up. I miss them every day, but this year it seems to be extremely high.
I just lost my grandfather, Gra, on my dad's side in january. He was the last living grandparent i had. And then two weeks ago, I lost my surrogate grandfather from my church. I don't know how to deal with all this death. It's eating at me inside and I am afraid that one of these days I am going to just break down and lose it.
I am thankful I had Sarah when I did. This way I know she will have her grandparents for a longer time than I had. I thank God every day for the fact that I am a young mother.
So to all those who still have their grandparents living, call them, and tell them you love them. Send them a card, just thanking them for being alive. Don't take them for granted, because you know that they won't be there forever.
Wow, this is a long post so far. Now to update on how hectic life has been lately.
Ever since I started working at David's Bridal, home life has been a little hard. Sarah has entered the terrible twos and it's been hard. I can't seem to say no sometimes, and it doesn't help. I need to become more stern in my decisions for her, and I need to be there for her. It doesn't help that when I get home from work, I am bone tired. All Sarah wants when I get home is to love on me, and give me hugs, and I am too tired to deal with it! Does that make me a bad mom? I am trying to work hard to get a better job, and with this comes sacrifices that will help in the long run. That doesn't make me a bad mom does it???
Ugh, I am just venting and tired. Go figure.
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