Movie night?

I rented life as we know it. i hope to watch it tonight, or maybe tomorrow.

i have been feeling odd lately. not here or there, i just feel like im drifting from one job to the next with a little time in between to spend with troy and sarah. during that time, because i am so tired, sarah gets on my nerves. of course, after that i feel like a bad parent because in the little time i get with my child, im not appreciating the valuable time we have together.
i ask myself, am i a bad mother???? do i hurt my child? no. do i neglect my child? no. she gets so much love from me and her daddy that she is hardly neglected.  do i see my child enough? that is a definite no.  because i am working two jobs, i don't see my daughter as much as a mother should.

but does that make me a bad mother because i don't see her except at night and rarely on the weekends? she spends time with her daddy when he's not working and then she is either with her aunt and cousins or her grandparents.

to me, that seems like a pretty awesome life. and monday she starts a "preschool" setting of a daycare.  i am very excited for that, but also, one more thing im not doing with her is helping her learn everything.  someone else is doing it..
i feel like i should quit one of my jobs. and make time for sarah. ha. then we wouldnt have any money.. 

i guess i just need to go grab my bear, give her a big hug and kiss and i will feel better.....

but in the back of my mind, i'm wondering, "am i making the right choices for her right now by working two jobs? am i scarring her for life, or am i preparing her for something else? do i even know what that something else is?"

i hate doubt.